In this kind of scenario, you have two ways to profoundly affect the lives of the people around you. Simply sneeze and cough, (for best results, don’t cover your face), and their future will depend on their immune system. As a first time voter, I ushered myself to the Philippine elections the really hard way.
Whoah. The scenario couldn’t have been direr. I was pushed in every direction by ginormous people and I felt that my internal organs will be crushed any moment. It was so crowded and jam-packed that I almost passed out from inhaling the carbon dioxide that transpired from the sweaty and icky individuals (me included),and probably other releases of their excretory systems(gross), but I contained myself with the knowledge that I can’t possibly—for God’s sake- make a scene and embarrass myself for all eternity.
So I persevered—but not without toil. I queued from six in the morning and with a seeming hint of divine intervention, the PCOS machine finally congratulated me by 12:25 p.m. From nine till my momentous entrance to the precinct I was only freakin’ one foot away from the door. Take that distance, divided by the time it took for me to cover it, and I bet I had become the slowest organism on the face of the earth. It was too long and lagging that I felt If I’d been free, that span of time would have allowed me to circumnavigate the globe.
Earlier that day, people graciously lined up, and waited for voting to start. However, when the precinct opened some individuals who seem to have no I.Q., ignored the line and pushed their way into the door, which is the perfect act for their fellow low-brainers to emulate. Soon enough, no line was even discernible as people (again, me included) competed to get inside first. In the end, those of us who got there and lined up first were apparently outwitted by people who have no I.Q. Shame on us! As an effort to explain such appalling behavior, I thought they were diagnosed with some esoteric ophthalmic disorder which disables them to see apparent order in the form of a queue. Or maybe, they’re just idiots. Biased as you would have me sound, I’d invoke Occam’s razor and chose the latter. Hey, it’s too early yet in the morning to blatantly expose how a bunch of people who call themselves Filipinos expect a better Philippines when they can’t even make a decent queue or refuse to follow one. Some may have the initiative, but it’s not contagious enough, and the officers relied on it too much that they never imposed order in the outset and when they tried it was all in vain. ( They gave priority numbers only when they realized the crowd was already uncontrollable and pesky, making those “utak-gutom” share of the electorate snatch it first, and not those who supposedly got there first. Hey, I know what “diskarte” means, and I use it sometimes, but please, your “diskarte” didn’t make a wit out of you—it’s the opposite, really.) It dissolved in a cacophony of quibbles, complains and all the possible interjections you could possibly think of.
It was not long before I busied myself with trying to come up with a body count, for I sensed this must be what a revolution feels like.
Exasperating as it is amusing, though, this should not go on for long. With my ranting here as fertile ground, I appeal to lawmakers to make disrespect (yes, DISRESPECT) to a queue punishable by law. Allow me to say I’m not concerning myself with the details here, but certainly, this can be done. It’s doable, and it’s not weird. It may not wash away idiots mentioned here from the face of the earth, but we can hope it’ll spark even a vague idea to them. It’s funny how order should be imposed upon order, but we’ll continue doing that until there’s really order. After all, it’s part of what the electoral process is all about.
A friend told me that according to Reader's Digest survey, the second most hated people in the Philippines are "queue breakers"
[05.28.2010]
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